Before you get married, there will be a wide variety of subjects on your agenda. The agenda that you and your partner hold may be similar or completely unrelated or somewhere in between. You will know that you should clear most of the discussions before you marry, to contribute to a good start to your marriage. What if you require the support of your new in-laws to agree to the marriage and financially, afterwards? This is perhaps the time for you to consider a helpful meeting with premarital counsellors. NYC has a wide selection of experts to talk to.
Do You Like Your Potential In-Laws?
In some cultures and religions, your new parents-in-law may expect to have a substantial say about your marriage and your lifestyle afterwards. They may imagine exactly how many children you should provide and when.
Obviously, it helps if you like your partner’s parents, but this is not a necessity and may become an area of conflict for years to come if you do not agree how they are to be treated at the very early stages, perhaps by meeting with premarital counsellors.
Do Your Expectations Differ?
When one of you expects to spend the entire weekend with their parents, once a month and the other partner would prefer to see their in-laws once a year, there are obvious areas for discussion and communication. How far do you tell the truth without upsetting your partner?
By thinking ahead and completing discussions with your premarital counsellors, you will hopefully come to agreements over several areas that if not discussed and agreed, will lead to understandable conflict.
Should your new in-laws provide financial stability for the beginning of your marriage, what will you owe them and what will they expect in return, if anything?
As your parents and in-laws become older, is there an expectation that they will live with you, however ill they become, or will they automatically be moved to a care home? Conflict in this area could lead to a breakdown of your marriage and a severe set of difficulties relating to how the parents are dealt with at the time.
Are you likely to spend your holidays with your parents-in-law and how much time will your children be expected to meet with them regularly. Answering these questions in advance will help ease lines of communication which is a skill that can be taught to you by your premarital counsellors. NYC offers you a variety of experts available to meet with you and help guide you through these questions so you can answer honestly and helpfully.
